Draft 1 – Draft 1 Paper 3
Final Draft – Project 3 ENG110
Pictures of Revisions and Thought Processes: IMG_1959. IMG_1960
At the beginning of the trimester, my revising habits were no where near as they are now. Even in my first essay, I would start by writing my thesis. From there, I would write my essay, never changing my thesis. As I progressed through the trimester, I found this was not the best way to revise my work. This lead to my approach changing towards a constant revision of my thesis, changing to better fit what I am saying, rather than changing what I am saying to fit my thesis.
In my first draft, I always start out by creating an outline of my ideas, creating a rough structure of what the final product is going to look like. This can be seen in the link for “Draft 1”. Here, I have a rough introduction, as well as an outline for my future paragraphs. Also, I had my first formulated thesis ideas, which involved the ideas of the connection between moral obligations surrounding our relationships with animals, and how culture affects that. Attached to this page is two links to images of my notebook, which shows how my thoughts changed as I listened to the peer review and class discussions of the text. As professor Miller surely remembers, I was at a loss of what to include for the first week or so of this project, but these pages show the progress I made in revising and working towards this final draft.
As I moved past draft 1, and worked up to my final draft, there were numerous revisions. The most major was the choice to reconstruct my thesis in order to include this idea of the troubled middle. In my first drafts, I didn’t include this because I was afraid of having too broad of a thesis, but after peer revision and writing my body paragraphs, I knew I needed to add it. This reconstruction was mainly due to the flow of the body paragraphs I had written. This can be seen in my final draft, where the main ideas of the paragraphs are not the same as they were in my outline. This shows how I revised throughout my essays stages, as I kept altering what exactly I wanted to say as I got thoughts onto paper. This would ultimately lead to a change in the structure and contents of my thesis. Also, along with the change in my thesis, I also focused a lot on the organization of my essay. It can be seen that the order in which I planned my paragraphs in draft 1 is not the same in the final draft. As I was writing my essay, I constantly altered the order of my paragraphs to find the smoothest transitions and most logical order. Within this, I worked on things such as topic sentences, as well as introducing the texts I would be working with. In the first draft, I had no integration of texts, but as the project went on, I molded them into the work.
Overall, both the global and local revisions of this essay can be seen in the comparison of my thesis between now and then, as well as the order and structure of my body paragraphs. The topic sentences and integration if sources is more on a local level, but they were still a main part of my revision.
